So, while this has nothing to do with adoption, it is what's on my mind today. I am currently in a friendly Facebook debate. A very dear friend of mine posted, asserting that married couples who maintain separate finances are outside of God's will. Naturally, I disagreed with her, which led to our further discussion. Here's where I stand: Cowboy and I were both married to other people before. We both dealt with the messy, agonizing chaos that poor financial decisions can be. This is not finger-pointing. This is simple fact. We keep separate accounts. Hear me on this: THAT DOES NOT MEAN THERE IS FINANCIAL DIVISION IN OUR MARRIAGE. Point of fact, there is financial UNITY in our marriage. There exists a level of financial peace in our marriage that neither of us has ever known before. We do not hide our purchases from one another. We do not deceive one another about how much or how little we have saved. We know what our responsibilities are, both together and separately, and we make darn sure we're meeting them. Cowboy pays child support, as he should. I pay for my own shoe addiction, as I should. The house note is paid, on time, without fail. As are the vehicle notes, insurance premiums, utility bills, HOA fees and every other expense we have. There is no dereliction of our fiscal duties. We frequently discuss what bills we have, what expenses we have, what budgeting adjustments we need to make. We are not financially separate, our accounts are.
I hate to even use the word "offensive", because it has become so ridiculously overused in our society. But, I find it offensive that a fellow Christian would so blatantly judge my faith, my commitment to my Father and my marriage simply because I choose to steward my finances differently than she. I hear from many people (including her) that my marriage is a standard to which they aspire. And, I agree. My marriage is strong. My marriage is sanctified. My marriage is not defined by who signs the checks. What I'm saying is simply this: I do not need to ask my husband for permission to buy a $1000 pair of shoes. I also RESPECT my husband enough that I'm not going out and buying them whenever a whim hits!
With deepest conviction,
Katherine the Shoe Lover
