Paper Pregnant

Two and a half weeks ago, Cowboy and I were deemed a match for a certain teenage boy.  I'll call him Adam here, as we are not allowed to release any information about him publicly until he's ours.  The next step will be to read his full, unredacted file.  All the horrors he's endured.  The reasons he went into Care in the first place.  Comments and opinions from his relatives, teachers, doctors, counselors, fellow foster kids, and foster parents.  Right now, I pray for discernment.  Naturally, we want to protect our other kids from any potential danger, and knowing Adam's history will help us with that.  But, it's the other bits of information that concern me.  I started thinking, what would my file look like?  If my siblings and parents, coworkers and former employers were given a chance to write up what they really thought of me?  Of my behavior?  Of my past mistakes and poor decisions?  What about my former in-laws? People I've been rude to?  I can only imagine the laundry list of sins they could compile!  So, I'm praying that God will show us what He wants us to see.  I'm praying that we simply follow God's guidance, and not our own doubts and worries.  And, above all else, I'm praying that Adam knows God, and knows who he is in Christ.  We are "paper pregnant", and I can't wait to introduce you to our son!

Grace and Mercy

I was reading my niece's blog (https://karaleighkinsey.com/2016/05/18/puppies-reflections/) today, and I came across what is one of the most (unintentionally) profound statements I've ever read.  She was taking pictures of her two dogs, Grace and Mercy.  Grace is the older, about 2.5 years old, and Mercy is just 9 weeks.  In comparing the size of the two, she commented how, soon, Mercy would be twice as big as Grace.  Doesn't that just give you all the hope you'll ever need?  Grace is, simply put, God blessing us even though we don't deserve it.  And, that alone, is wonderful and beautiful and makes my soul dance.  But, Mercy.  Mercy is God not punishing us for our sins, although we deserve it.  Mercy is my Jesus hanging on the Cross, broken and bleeding and bruised, and still asking the Father to forgive us.  Mercy is knowing, despite the thousands of times I've failed in my walk with Christ, that my home is forever in Heaven with Him.  Grace is beautiful and uplifting and makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and I am thankful every day for God's grace.  But, it's His mercy that brings me to my knees, fills my heart with love and my eyes with tears.  His mercy is everything!