Nobody Really Talks About That

I am a mom.  It seems really simple, doesn't it?  I have a child, therefor I am a mom.  I've been a mom for 23 years, and my son is 12 years old.  But, nobody really talks about that.  I had a daughter.  A beautiful,blue eyed, blonde haired, severely disabled, congenitally terminal daughter.  She was a fighter.  But, her disabilities were too much for her to overcome.  She died when she was 4.  But, nobody really talks about that.

In 2007, I discovered a "something".  I was young(er) and thin back then, so it was quite obvious.  I would lie on my back, and there was this small, hard bump in my belly, just right of my navel.  It didn't hurt, it didn't move or flutter.  It was just there.  It took me 5 months - and several other symptoms - to finally see a doctor.  I had a tumor on my right ovary. But, since I'd waited so long to have it checked, it had grown substantially.  So, in addition to this 17-pound-basketball of a tumor, my entire womb was removed.  To say I was relieved would be an understatement.  It was over, I was fine.  Mostly.  Except I would never be a mother again.  But, nobody really talks about that.

It's been 8 years now.  I'm healthy.  I have a wonderful husband.  I have children and step-children whom I adore.  Life is really good.  But, you know what?  I want more.  I want a bigger family.  My husband and I want to adopt a child.  And, I'm going to talk about that!